Moral Injury: "A betrayal, by a person in authority, in a high stakes situation." Psychiatrist Jonathan Shay, author of Achilles in Vietnam.
Vets get together and talk and shut you out. It's not because they're being mysterious. It's just the things extremity forces you to do, or not to do, are beyond the comprehension of the every day moralizer. Situations where there are no good choices and you pick the one that helps you survive. We'd take you on a tour of Hell but you wouldn't like it. You're shocked? You should have been there. Would have given you something to be shocked about. So we get together and talk about these things. Maybe singing this song one more time will make it go away.